I’m not exactly sure why I spent an hour and a half watching this movie. My better judgement should have told me it was going to be rubbish after seeing the trailer on TV.

But what did I do? I watched it anyway. I remember as a young kid, even as an early teenager imagining how and when my favourite toys would end up as movies. I was a big G.I.JOE fan, had lots of the figurines and vehicles – every weekend there would be an epic battle between the ‘Joe and Cobra (Snake Eyes always saved the day).

I thought the movie would resemble the theme(s) from the 80′s cartoons, but it didn’t. The only similarities are the names. Everything else is retarded, I can’t put it any other way. Take a look at this G.I.JOE 80′s cartoon intro → and tell me what is similar? Nothing. None of the cool aircraft, weapons or machinery that I grew up loving and that made G.I.JOE what it was were carried over into this movie. Instead, we’ve been presented with some absurd pulse guns which obliterate everything, highly technological suits which enhance human performance and other junk. All this is topped off by I think some of the worst CGI I’ve ever seen, almost as if it was done on budget.

I really can’t do anything but express my frustration and disappointment, one of my childhood favourites has been raped. IMDb ratings has it at 5.9/10, almost says it all doesn’t it?